The Great Italian Debate: Is Saying "Buon Appetito" Actually Rude? (And 10 Phrases To Use Instead)

As of December 15, 2025, the classic Italian phrase Buon Appetito—literally translating to "good appetite"—remains one of the most recognized greetings before a meal. You will hear it with a gleeful smile from waiters (camerieri) in restaurants (ristoranti) across the country, and it is still a common fixture in many Italian households among family and friends. However, a fascinating and persistent cultural debate exists: is saying Buon Appetito actually considered old-fashioned, or even slightly rude, by some modern Italians? Understanding this nuance is the key to truly mastering Italian dining etiquette and showing respect for the local culture.

The phrase is the Italian equivalent of the French Bon Appétit and the Spanish Buen Provecho, all serving the purpose of wishing fellow diners an enjoyable meal. Yet, for the discerning traveler or language learner, knowing when and how to use it—or what to say instead—is crucial for blending in and avoiding a cultural misstep. The controversy stems from a deeper, historical context of Italian table manners that values discretion (discrezione) and sobriety (sobrietà) over an explicit wish for hunger.

The Etiquette Debate: Is Wishing a "Good Appetite" Superfluous?

The core of the Buon Appetito controversy lies in a traditional etiquette principle that suggests the phrase is unnecessary, or "superfluous" (superfluo), in polite society. This perspective argues that good food (buon cibo) and a pleasant atmosphere should naturally stimulate one's appetite (appetito), making the verbal wish redundant.

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• The Traditional Argument: The argument is that one should not need to be told to "have a good appetite." The food itself, prepared with care by the host (il padrone di casa) or chef (lo chef), should be enough to guarantee enjoyment. Explicitly wishing for an appetite can be seen as suggesting the diners might not enjoy the meal otherwise. This is rooted in historical values of discretion and sobriety in both gestures and words.
• The Modern Reality: Despite the traditionalists' view, the phrase is still very much alive and well in contemporary Italy. Waiters almost always use it as a professional courtesy when serving a dish. In casual settings, like a meal with close friends (amici) or family (famiglia), it is frequently used to signal the start of eating, acting as a "green light" to dig in.
• The Consensus: The safest approach is to understand the context. If you are the host, you can use it to signal the start of the meal. If you are a guest, it is generally safe to say it, especially in a casual environment, but you should always wait for the host to initiate the eating process.

How to Reply to "Buon Appetito"

If someone, especially a waiter, wishes you Buon Appetito, the most common and simple reply is Grazie (Thank you). For a more polite or reciprocal response, you can use:

Grazie, altrettanto. (Thank you, same to you.)

10 Essential Italian Phrases to Use *Instead* of Buon Appetito

For those who wish to adopt the more discreet, modern Italian style, or simply want to expand their dining vocabulary (vocabolario culinario), there are several excellent alternatives that are context-specific and show a deeper understanding of the culture.

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1. Buon Pranzo! (Good Lunch!): Perfect for a midday meal (pranzo). This is a great, context-specific alternative.
2. Buona Cena! (Good Dinner!): Use this for the evening meal (cena). Similar to Buon Pranzo, it's polite and relevant.
3. Mangiamo! (Let's Eat!): A casual, enthusiastic invitation to start, often used among friends or family.
4. Si comincia! (We're starting! / Let's begin!): Another simple, direct way to signal the start of the meal without mentioning "appetite."
5. Servitevi. (Help yourselves.): A gracious phrase used by the host when the food is on the table, giving permission to start.
6. Cin Cin! (Cheers!): Used when toasting with wine (vino) or a drink (bevanda) before the meal.
7. Salute! (Health! / Cheers!): A common, simple toast, especially when drinking alcohol.
8. Spero che ti piaccia. (I hope you like it.): Used by the host when serving a dish to a guest, focusing on the quality of the food rather than the appetite.
9. Assaggia questo! (Try this!): An informal, inviting phrase to encourage a friend to taste a specific dish.
10. Prego. (Please/You're welcome): Often used by a waiter when placing the dish in front of you, which serves as a subtle, non-verbal "start eating" signal.

Mastering the Italian Meal: From Aperitivo to Digestivo

True topical authority (autorità topica) in Italian dining extends beyond the initial greeting. To navigate a full Italian meal (pasto italiano) like a local, you need to be familiar with the structure and the phrases used during and after the meal. This comprehensive vocabulary will ensure you are prepared for any dining scenario, from a casual family gathering to a formal multi-course dinner.

The Course Structure (Entità Culinaria)

A traditional Italian meal is a social event, often lasting hours, and is divided into distinct courses (portate). Knowing these terms is essential:

• Aperitivo: The pre-meal drink and light snack, like olives (olive) or chips (patatine), designed to open the appetite.
• Antipasti: Appetizers, which literally means "before the meal." This can include cured meats (salumi) and cheeses (formaggi).
• Primi: The "first course," typically pasta (pasta), risotto, or soup (zuppa).
• Secondi: The "main course," consisting of meat (carne) or fish (pesce), often served without a side dish.
• Contorni: Side dishes, such as vegetables (verdure) or salad (insalata), ordered separately from the Secondi.
• Frutta e Dolce: Fruit and dessert, which can be anything from tiramisù to fresh seasonal fruit.
• Caffè: Espresso, typically enjoyed after the dessert.
• Digestivo: A post-meal liqueur, such as limoncello or amaro, intended to aid digestion (digestione).

Phrases Used During and After the Meal (Entità Conversazionale)

Once the meal is underway, the conversation shifts to the food itself. These phrases are far more common and appreciated than debating Buon Appetito:

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• È delizioso! (It's delicious!): The ultimate compliment to the chef or host.
• Complimenti al cuoco! (Compliments to the cook!): A direct and highly appreciated expression of praise.
• Posso avere...? (Can I have...?): Used when asking the waiter for something, e.g., Posso avere il sale? (Can I have the salt?).
• Basta così, grazie. (That's enough, thank you.): A polite way to decline more food or drink.
• Sono pieno/a. (I am full.): The common phrase to express satiety (use pieno for male, piena for female).
• Il conto, per favore. (The bill, please.): Used when you are ready to leave the restaurant.
• Era tutto buonissimo. (Everything was very good.): A polite phrase to say when leaving.
• Andiamo! (Let's go!): Used when you are ready to depart.

In conclusion, while Buon Appetito is universally understood and used by service staff, adopting the more nuanced vocabulary of Buon Pranzo, Buona Cena, or simply waiting for the host's cue, demonstrates a deeper respect for Italian table manners (maniere a tavola). Embrace the full dining experience, from the initial Aperitivo to the final Digestivo, and you will eat like a true Italian (vero italiano).