The Hilarious Truth Behind "And They Were Both Bottoms": 5 Ways The Viral Meme Defines Modern Queer Dating

Dating in the modern queer world often comes with a unique set of challenges and inside jokes, but few phrases capture a common relationship dynamic as perfectly as the viral sensation, "And They Were Both Bottoms." As of December 2025, this simple, yet profoundly funny, statement continues to trend across social media platforms, from TikTok to Tumblr, serving as a shorthand for a specific kind of romantic impasse. It’s a meme that transcends a simple punchline, acting as a cultural commentary on sexual roles, expectations, and the delightful awkwardness of finding love when your partner shares your exact preference.

The phrase is more than just internet humor; it’s a cultural touchstone that highlights the complexities of wlw (women-loving-women) and queer relationships. The humor lies in the inherent conflict: in a relationship where both partners prefer the 'receiving' role (the bottom), who takes the lead, and how exactly do they navigate their sexual dynamic? The longevity and enduring relevance of the meme prove that this is a conversation that is far from over in the LGBTQ+ community.

The Unexpected Origin of a Global Queer Meme: Mikawa Miso's Manga

To truly understand the depth of the "And They Were Both Bottoms" phenomenon, one must trace its roots back to its surprising source: a Japanese Yuri manga (girls' love) one-shot. This connection gives the meme a rich, authentic history that contributes significantly to its topical authority.

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The Creator and the Original Work

• Creator: The original exploitable image was drawn by Mikawa Miso, a well-regarded author and artist in the Yuri manga scene.
• Original Title: The panel that launched a thousand memes comes from a short, 3-page one-shot titled *"Neko to Neko no Owaranai Yoru"*, which translates to *"Cat and Cat Endless Night"* in English.
• The Panel: The image itself depicts two women in their underwear, clearly about to engage in a sexual encounter. The accompanying text, or the context that inspired the phrase, quickly became an internet sensation, specifically within lesbian and queer subcultures.
• Genre Significance: The meme’s origin in Yuri culture is crucial. It’s a genre often focused on the intimate, emotional, and sexual relationships between women, making it the perfect incubator for a discussion about lesbian sexual roles.

The image quickly became an exploitable meme, where the original text was often replaced, or the panel was used to illustrate any situation where two entities share the same, incompatible characteristic. However, its most enduring form remains a commentary on the top, bottom, and switch dynamics in queer dating.

5 Ways "And They Were Both Bottoms" Defines Modern Queer Dating

The meme’s staying power, even in 2025, is a testament to how accurately it reflects real-life dynamics. It’s a humorous lens through which the LGBTQ+ community discusses serious topics like sexual compatibility, communication, and relationship roles.

1. Highlighting the "Problem of Two Bottoms"

At its core, the meme articulates the comedic and practical dilemma of two people who both prefer the bottom role—the partner who primarily receives sexual pleasure. In a traditional (and often heteronormative) view of sex, there must be a 'giver' (the top) and a 'receiver' (the bottom). When both partners are bottoms, the question becomes: who is going to do the work? This situation often leads to a standstill, a humorous lack of action, or a necessary conversation about compromise.

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2. Normalizing the Fluidity of Sexual Roles

While the joke is about the impasse, the ongoing discussion surrounding the meme actually normalizes the fluidity of queer sexual roles. In wlw relationships, the terms top, bottom, and switch are often adopted from gay male culture, but their meaning is far more nuanced. Many discussions inspired by the meme point out that a "bottom" can also give pleasure, and a "top" can also receive. The situation of "two bottoms" forces couples to become switches or to explore new, non-penetrative forms of intimacy, making the roles less rigid.

3. The Rise of "Bottom Solidarity" and Shared Experience

The meme fosters a sense of bottom solidarity—a shared, knowing experience among those who identify with the receiving role. It’s a nod to the fact that many people, especially queer women, identify more strongly with this role. The humor is shared, creating an instant connection and a form of cultural shorthand on dating apps and in social circles. This collective experience helps build community and validates a common hurdle in queer dating.

4. A Commentary on Dating App Compatibility

In 2024 and 2025, dating apps are a primary way queer people meet. The phrase is frequently used in discussions about online dating profiles. Users often joke about the difficulty of finding a top when everyone lists themselves as a bottom or a switch who prefers to bottom. This meme has become a way to vent about the reality of matching with someone who shares your preference, creating a relationship that is perfect emotionally but logistically complicated.

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5. Introducing Complex Queer Terminology

The popularity of the meme has inadvertently educated a wider audience on more specific lesbian terminology and relationship dynamics. Discussions often branch out to include terms like:

• Switch: Someone who enjoys being both a top and a bottom.
• Pillow Princess: A partner who prefers to primarily receive pleasure without reciprocating, often seen as an extreme form of a bottom.
• Stone Butch/Stone Top: A partner who prefers to give pleasure and does not like to receive it.

By bringing the core dynamic to the forefront, the meme encourages a deeper dive into these specific roles, enriching the overall understanding of wlw relationships and sexual communication.

Beyond the Punchline: Communication is Key

While the image of two bottoms staring awkwardly at each other is hilarious, the real-world takeaway is a serious one: communication is paramount. The "problem" of two bottoms (or two tops, for that matter) is only a problem if the couple fails to discuss their desires and boundaries.

The enduring popularity of the "And They Were Both Bottoms" meme, from its humble beginnings in a Mikawa Miso manga panel to its status as a 2025 cultural artifact, proves that the queer community is constantly evolving its own language to discuss sex and relationships. It’s a perfect example of how internet culture can take a specific, niche experience and transform it into a universally relatable piece of queer history and humor.

Ultimately, the meme is a celebration of compromise and love. It reminds us that even when you and your partner share the exact same preference, the joy of the relationship is in finding new, creative, and communicative ways to make it work—even if it means one of you has to become a switch for the night.