25+ Funniest 'Easy A' Lines: Why Bert V. Royal's Iconic Dialogue Still Slays In 2025

Few teen comedies can boast a script as razor-sharp and quotable as Easy A. Released in 2010 and starring Emma Stone as the quick-witted Olive Penderghast, the film is a masterclass in satirical dialogue, delivering one-liners and comedic exchanges that have cemented its place as a definitive millennial high school movie. Even today, in late 2025, the movie's humor—penned by screenwriter Bert V. Royal—feels incredibly fresh, tackling the timeless themes of reputation, rumor, and hypocrisy with an intelligence rarely seen in the genre. This article dives deep into the most hilarious and enduring lines, offering a retrospective on the film's lasting comedic genius.

The enduring popularity of the film's dialogue is a testament to its cultural relevance, which continues to resonate in an age dominated by social media and the constant pressure of public perception. The script expertly blends high-brow literary references, like Nathaniel Hawthorne’s The Scarlet Letter, with pitch-perfect teen banter, creating a unique comedic voice. From Olive's sardonic internal monologue to the absurdly supportive Penderghast parents, here are the funniest and most unforgettable lines from Easy A.

Screenwriter Spotlight: Bert V. Royal's Biography and Witty Legacy

The distinctive, highly quotable style of Easy A is the direct result of its screenwriter, Bert V. Royal. His unique background and satirical sensibilities are the engine behind the film's success, making the dialogue feel both literary and authentically modern.

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• Full Name: Bert V. Royal Jr.
• Born: October 14, 1977, in Aurora, Colorado, United States.
• Career: American screenwriter, playwright, and former casting director.
• Early Life: Royal moved from Florida to New York City at age 21 to pursue his career.
• Notable Work (Play): He is best known in the theater world for writing the play Dog Sees God: Confessions of a Teenage Blockhead, which was an award-winning satirical take on the Peanuts characters.
• Writing Style: Royal is known for his satirical works that explore themes of adolescent angst, social hypocrisy, and pop culture, often featuring intelligent protagonists who "speak like adults" despite being in high school.
• Impact: His script for Easy A is frequently praised for its wit, rapid-fire dialogue, and successful integration of classic literary themes into a contemporary teen setting, effectively blending the style of John Hughes with modern cynicism.

The Definitive List of Olive Penderghast's Funniest Lines

Olive Penderghast, brilliantly portrayed by Emma Stone, is the heart and soul of Easy A's humor. Her sarcasm, self-awareness, and constant breaking of the fourth wall provide the film's most memorable and enduring quotes. Her lines often cut through the hypocrisy of her classmates and the absurdity of the high school rumor mill.

• "Whatever happened to chivalry? Does it only exist in 80's movies? I want John Cusack holding a boombox outside my window. I wanna ride off on a lawnmower with Patrick Dempsey. I want Jake Ryan waiting outside the church for me. I want an axe murderer to chase me through a frat house with the Tri-Lambs. I want... something more."
• "I may not actually be a slut, but I'm no saint either."
• "I'm swell, guy-I've-never-laid-eyes-on-before." (Said to a stranger after he asks how she is, perfectly capturing her sardonic mood.)
• "The funny thing is, the whole time this all was going down, I couldn't help thinking I could have come up with a better lie."
• "I do not need to be saved. I am not a damsel in distress. I am a dragon. I am a warrior. I am Olive Penderghast."
• "I'm just going to roll with it. I'm going to own it. I'm going to be the girl who's willing to help out a friend. I'm going to be the girl who's not afraid to be who she is."
• "I'm sorry, I'm just having a really hard time processing this. It's like my brain is full of bees."

Olive's references to 80s teen movies, particularly those directed by John Hughes, are a key comedic element, contrasting the idealized cinematic world with the harsh realities of her own high school experience. This meta-humor is a signature of Bert V. Royal's writing style.

The Underrated Brilliance of the Penderghast Parents

One of the most unique and funniest aspects of Easy A is the relationship Olive has with her parents, Rosemary (Patricia Clarkson) and Dill (Stanley Tucci). Their unbelievably supportive, witty, and non-judgmental dialogue provides a hysterical contrast to the conservative moralizing of the school's faculty and religious clique. Their lines are often the "deep-cut" favorites among fans.

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• Dill Penderghast: "We're not going to abandon you! We're your parents! We're here to guide you, not judge you. Unless you're a Republican. Then we judge you."
• Rosemary Penderghast: "You know, when I was your age, I actually lost my virginity. It was in the back of a van, and it was a terrible mistake. But, you know, I learned a valuable lesson: always lock the doors."
• Dill Penderghast (on Olive's rumored promiscuity): "You're adopted."
  • Olive Penderghast: "Who told you?" (This rapid-fire, deadpan exchange highlights the family's unique, joking dynamic.)
• Rosemary Penderghast: "Oh, honey, I'm sorry. When you're a parent, you have to be ready for anything. I mean, I'm still coming to terms with the fact that you're not a lesbian."
• Dill Penderghast: "It's like a John Hughes movie out there. Only instead of a soundtrack by Simple Minds, it's just a bunch of people whispering about your daughter."
• Rosemary Penderghast: "That's a very pretty tramp stamp." (Said to Olive about the letter 'A' she sews onto her clothes.)

The Penderghast parents are a masterstroke of comedic writing, providing a stable, loving, and absurdly funny foundation that allows Olive's story of social rebellion to truly take flight. Their witty exchanges are a constant source of relief from the high school drama.

The Supporting Cast's Iconic One-Liners and Social Commentary

The humor in Easy A isn't limited to Olive and her family. The supporting characters—from the zealous Christian Marianne (Amanda Bynes) to the hilarious guidance counselor Mr. Griffith (Thomas Haden Church)—deliver lines that are equally memorable and serve to amplify the film's satirical edge.

Marianne Bryant's Judgmental Zingers

Amanda Bynes' performance as the hyper-religious, judgmental Marianne is a perfect foil to Olive. Her lines are often funny due to their intense, over-the-top moralizing and her dramatic delivery.

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• "Looks like someone's on a downward spiral."
• "I just hope for your sake you had the good sense to use protection."
• "You're a tramp, Olive. A tramp!"
• "I'm praying for you, Olive. I'm praying for your soul."

Mr. Griffith's Casual Absurdity

Thomas Haden Church’s Mr. Griffith, the English teacher, and his wife, Mrs. Griffith (Lisa Kudrow), provide adult-world hypocrisy that mirrors the students' drama.

• Mr. Griffith: "I’m not saying you’re a slut. I’m saying you’re acting like a slut, and I’m just trying to figure out why."
• Mrs. Griffith: "Don't you ever, *ever* say that word again. It's a horrible, horrible word. It's the worst word in the English language." (Referring to the word "slut" while simultaneously having an affair with a student.)

Woodchuck Todd's Sweet Sarcasm

Penn Badgley's Woodchuck Todd, Olive's childhood friend and eventual love interest, delivers some of the film’s most charmingly sarcastic lines.

• Woodchuck Todd: "Screw all these people, Olive!"
  • Olive Penderghast: "Haven't you heard? I already did." (A classic, quick-witted exchange that shows their chemistry.)
• "I've got a woodchuck in my pants. Don't worry, it's not a euphemism."

The Enduring Cultural Impact in the Mid-2020s

More than a decade after its release, Easy A and its funny lines are still widely referenced. The film is celebrated for perfectly capturing the early 2010s high school experience, serving as a time capsule for a generation that was just beginning to grapple with the complexities of digital reputation and cancel culture.

The film’s themes of rumor and perception, which Olive highlights through her video blog, are even more relevant in the current social media landscape, where a single lie or misrepresentation can spread globally in an instant. The film's lasting legacy is evident even in recent cinema; director Will Gluck’s 2023 film Anyone But You features a direct reference to Olive Penderghast, proving her status as an enduring pop culture icon. Bert V. Royal’s script created a character and a world that were both deeply funny and surprisingly profound, ensuring that Olive Penderghast’s story—and her hilarious lines—will continue to slay for years to come.