5 Shocking Secrets About 'You' Netflix Sex Scenes: Why Penn Badgley Broke His Biggest Rule For Season 5

The Netflix psychological thriller You has always walked a razor-thin line between dark romance and outright horror, and at the heart of its most compelling—and controversial—narrative moments are the intimate scenes featuring Joe Goldberg. As of this current date in December 2025, the discussion around these moments has reached a fever pitch, driven by star Penn Badgley's candid, and sometimes shocking, revelations about filming them, especially in the context of the recently released fifth and final season.

From the obsessive passion of Season 1 with Guinevere Beck to the complex, deadly dynamics of Season 5, the show uses sex scenes not for titillation, but as a chilling lens into Joe’s fractured psyche and his desperate need for connection. The latest updates reveal a fascinating behind-the-scenes evolution, including Badgley's personal request to cut back on intimacy and the surprising reason he had to abandon that rule for the show's dramatic conclusion.

Penn Badgley's Candid Biography and the Joe Goldberg Persona

Before diving into the show's most intimate moments, understanding the man behind the infamous serial killer, Joe Goldberg, provides essential context. Penn Badgley has had a long and varied career, but his recent outspokenness about the morality of his roles has made him a central figure in the debate over on-screen intimacy.

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• Full Name: Penn Dayton Badgley
• Date of Birth: November 1, 1986
• Place of Birth: Baltimore, Maryland, U.S.
• Spouse: Domino Kirke (m. 2017)
• Notable Roles: Dan Humphrey in Gossip Girl, Joe Goldberg in You
• Current Project Focus: Acting, producing, and co-hosting the popular podcast Podcrushed.
• Key Stance on Intimacy: He publicly requested to limit his sex scenes in You, citing his marriage and personal values, a request he later partially retracted for the final season's narrative necessity.

The Shocking Request: Why Joe Goldberg's Sex Life Was Toned Down in Season 4

The early seasons of You were marked by highly charged, often disturbing sex scenes. Season 1 featured intense intimacy with Beck (Elizabeth Lail), and Season 2 introduced a passionate, yet equally toxic, relationship with Love Quinn (Victoria Pedretti). However, the narrative shifted dramatically for Season 4, which saw Joe Goldberg relocate to London and adopt the persona of Professor Jonathan Moore.

The biggest news surrounding Season 4 was Penn Badgley's personal intervention with showrunner Sera Gamble. Badgley, who is married to musician Domino Kirke, revealed that he asked the creative team to drastically reduce his intimate scenes. "I asked Sera Gamble, [the] creator, 'Can I just do no more sex scenes?'" he stated.

The Moral and Personal Rationale

Badgley’s request was rooted in a deep personal and professional re-evaluation. He felt that the intimate aspects of the role were no longer something he wished to pursue, especially given his commitment to his wife, Domino Kirke. He explained that the "fidelity" in his marriage was important to him, and he wanted to move away from that aspect of Hollywood. The show's creative team, led by Sera Gamble, fully supported this decision, resulting in a noticeable reduction of explicit content in the fourth season, shifting the focus more toward the "whodunit" mystery plot with the Eat The Rich Killer.

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This move sparked a massive debate among fans and critics about the necessity of sex scenes in storytelling, especially when the main character is a serial killer whose relationships are fundamentally manipulative and abusive. The show’s creator agreed that the story could be just as compelling without the explicit intimacy, which was a fresh and unique approach for a show known for its dark sexuality.

The Final Reversal: Why Badgley Broke His Own Rule for 'You' Season 5

Despite his firm stance in Season 4, the narrative demands of the fifth and final season of You forced a surprising change of heart. As the final chapter of Joe Goldberg's story, which premiered recently, began to unfold, fans noticed an uptick in intimate scenes compared to the previous season.

Penn Badgley confirmed that he had to set aside his "no sex scene" rule for Season 5. The reason? The scenes were crucial to the plot and the emotional conclusion of Joe's journey. According to Badgley, the final season required him to throw his personal rule "out the window" because the scenes were not gratuitous but essential to the story's dramatic climax.

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The Context of Season 5's Intimacy

The intimate moments in Season 5 are understood to be tied to Joe's final relationships and his ultimate reckoning. The showrunners and Badgley agreed that to fully explore the consequences of Joe's actions and the depth of his final obsession, a level of intimacy—even if twisted—was required. The scenes serve as a necessary evil to illustrate the toxicity and danger of Joe's final state, where he fully embraces his dark side back in New York.

One particular scene in the final season, which involved his new interest, Bronte (Madeline Brewer), was highly discussed, showcasing the return of the intense, obsessive fantasy elements that characterized the earlier seasons.

The Unglamorous Reality: Intimacy Coordinators and Set Safety

While the sex scenes in You are designed to look steamy and spontaneous, the reality of filming is highly technical and professional. This is thanks to the crucial role of the intimacy coordinator.

The use of an intimacy coordinator, such as Alicia Rodis or Ita O'Brien, ensures that every intimate scene is choreographed with the same precision as a fight scene. This professional is on set to advocate for the actors' comfort and safety, making sure boundaries are respected and that the actors feel empowered. Badgley himself has been brutally honest about the unglamorous nature of the work, candidly admitting to the awkwardness of the technical process, which involves careful positioning and camera angles to achieve the desired effect.

• Choreography: Every touch, kiss, and movement is discussed and agreed upon beforehand.
• Modesty Garments: Actors use "glorified pasties" and other modesty garments to ensure no actual skin-to-skin contact occurs.
• Technical Focus: Badgley described one awkward scene where he was "quaking on all fours" with a camera inches from his face, highlighting the technical, rather than romantic, nature of the filming.

The intense discussion around Penn Badgley's personal preference and the show's creative choices highlights a broader conversation in Hollywood about on-screen intimacy. As You concludes its run, the legacy of its sex scenes will not just be about their shock value, but about how the show—and its lead actor—navigated the complexities of portraying dark, obsessive sexuality in a modern, post-#MeToo era, always prioritizing the narrative over gratuitous content.