The intense, cult-like partnership between former YouTube vlogger Ruby Franke and her counselor, Jodi Hildebrandt, has been the subject of global scrutiny since their 2023 arrest for aggravated child abuse. The public's curiosity extends beyond their criminal acts, focusing intently on the nature of their personal bond, specifically asking: Were Jodi and Ruby lovers? As of today, December 11, 2025, the official court records do not contain any charges or findings related to a romantic or sexual relationship; their convictions are solely for the horrific abuse of Franke’s children. However, the most compelling evidence suggesting a deeper, intimate connection comes directly from those closest to them: Franke’s own estranged family members.
The question of whether their relationship was romantic or purely an abusive, manipulative, and co-dependent professional partnership remains a central point of public debate. Key figures like Ruby’s eldest daughter, Shari Franke, and her estranged husband, Kevin Franke, have both publicly expressed their belief that the two women were involved romantically, adding a layer of sensational speculation to an already dark and complex case. Their claims, detailed in interviews and a recent memoir, paint a picture of an all-consuming bond that superseded all other family ties and professional boundaries.
The Complete Biography and Criminal Timeline of Ruby Franke and Jodi Hildebrandt
To understand the depth and nature of their controversial partnership, it is crucial to first establish the background of the two key figures. Both women were public-facing figures in the world of online life-coaching and family vlogging before their arrests shattered their public images.
Ruby Franke: The Disgraced 'Momfluencer'
- Full Name: Ruby Franke (née Griffiths)
- Born: January 18, 1982 (Age 43 as of 2025)
- Career: Former family vlogger on the popular YouTube channel "8 Passengers," which documented the lives of her husband, Kevin Franke, and their six children. The channel was launched in 2015 and gained over 2.5 million subscribers before its controversy and eventual deletion.
- Partnerships: Co-founder of the "ConneXions Classroom" with Jodi Hildebrandt.
- Legal Status: Pleaded guilty to four counts of second-degree felony aggravated child abuse in December 2023.
- Sentence: Sentenced to four concurrent terms of one to 15 years in prison, with the maximum time served capped at 30 years under Utah law.
Jodi Hildebrandt: The Counselor and 'Life Coach'
- Full Name: Jodi Nan Hildebrandt
- Born: June 15, 1969 (Age 56 as of 2025)
- Career: Former licensed clinical mental health counselor and self-proclaimed "life coach." She founded the "ConneXions Classroom," a controversial service offering parenting and relationship advice that promoted extreme, often punitive, disciplinary methods.
- Partnerships: Business partner and counselor to Ruby Franke.
- Legal Status: Pleaded guilty to four counts of second-degree felony aggravated child abuse in December 2023.
- Sentence: Sentenced to four concurrent terms of one to 15 years in prison, with the maximum time served capped at 30 years under Utah law.
The criminal timeline culminated on August 30, 2023, when one of Franke’s sons, emaciated and with open wounds, escaped Hildebrandt’s home and sought help from a neighbor, leading to the arrest of both women and the discovery of another severely malnourished child at the residence.
The Family's Claims: Why Kevin and Shari Franke Believe They Were Lovers
The public speculation about a romantic relationship is not baseless tabloid fodder; it originated from the family members who witnessed the destructive power of the Jodi and Ruby partnership firsthand. The nature of their bond was described as "strange," "cult-like," and intensely co-dependent, leading many to believe it was more than just a professional or spiritual alliance.
1. Kevin Franke’s Public Statements
Ruby Franke’s estranged husband, Kevin Franke, has been vocal about his belief that his wife and Hildebrandt were romantically involved. He stated that he suspected the two were lovers, an idea that contributed to the fracturing of his marriage and his eventual separation from Ruby. His perspective, as the husband who was essentially replaced by Hildebrandt in Ruby’s life, carries significant weight in the narrative of their relationship’s true dynamic.
2. Shari Franke's Memoir and "Honeymoon Suite" Claim
The most detailed and shocking claims come from the eldest daughter, Shari Franke, who has released a memoir titled The House of My Mother: A Daughter's Quest for Freedom. In her book, Shari delves into the "strange" and all-consuming relationship between her mother and the counselor.
A key detail that fueled the "lovers" speculation was Shari's claim about a specific room in Jodi Hildebrandt’s home. She reportedly referred to a private area used by the two women as a "honeymoon suite," suggesting an intimate arrangement that went far beyond the boundaries of a mentor-mentee or business relationship. This description, coming from a family member who was trying to understand the nature of her mother's sudden and complete devotion to Hildebrandt, has become a central piece of evidence for those who believe the two were romantically linked.
The 'ConneXions' Cult and the Power Dynamic of Control
Regardless of whether the relationship was sexual, its primary characteristic was one of extreme manipulation and control, often described as a "cult of sin and influence."
The Total Isolation and Control
The relationship between Jodi and Ruby was defined by the principles of the "ConneXions Classroom," which promoted a philosophy that Franke’s children were "sinful" and needed to be "purified." This cult-like system led to the total isolation of Ruby from her family, including her husband and older children, as Hildebrandt became the sole source of truth and guidance in her life. This level of co-dependence, where one person completely surrenders their autonomy to another, is a hallmark of abusive and cult-like relationships, whether romantic or otherwise.
The Denial of Professional Status
In her statement to the court during her sentencing, Ruby Franke attempted to distance herself from any professional partnership with Hildebrandt, stating, "Jodi Hildebrandt was never my business partner, nor was I ever employed by her. I have never received wages from her or ConneXions. Jodi was employed as my counselor." This statement, while attempting to minimize her own role in the ConneXions business, ironically highlights the intense, personal, and non-professional nature of their bond. She positioned Hildebrandt not as a colleague but as a personal authority figure—a "counselor"—who held complete sway over her life and decisions.
Final Verdict: What We Know and What Remains Speculation
The question "Were Jodi and Ruby lovers?" ultimately has two answers, based on the available evidence:
- The Legal/Official Answer: No. The court focused exclusively on the crimes of aggravated child abuse. There is no official confirmation or legal finding that their relationship was romantic or sexual.
- The Family/Contextual Answer: Likely, according to those closest to them. The claims of a "honeymoon suite" and the public statements from Kevin and Shari Franke strongly suggest that the relationship transcended a mere professional or spiritual mentorship and involved an intimate, all-consuming bond.
In the end, the most significant truth about the Ruby Franke and Jodi Hildebrandt partnership is that it was a deeply destructive, co-dependent, and abusive alliance that led to the severe torture and neglect of children. Whether their bond was sexual or purely psychological, it functioned as a closed, cult-like system that isolated Ruby Franke and allowed the horrific crimes to take place. The sensational question about their intimacy, while intriguing, serves to highlight the extreme and total control Hildebrandt held over Franke, a control that ultimately led both women to prison for a maximum of 30 years.
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