From Mystic Falls To Matrimony: Inside Phoebe Tonkin's Secret Marriage And Complete Dating History

Phoebe Tonkin, the Australian actress beloved for her roles in H2O: Just Add Water, The Vampire Diaries, and The Originals, has officially entered a new, highly private chapter in her life, a detail that has stunned fans and media alike in late 2025. After years of keeping her romantic life largely out of the spotlight, the actress is reportedly a married woman, having tied the knot with her partner, a prominent figure in the art world.

This major relationship update—moving from a quiet engagement to a reported marriage in May 2025—provides a fresh, unique angle on the star's personal journey. We delve into the complete history of her high-profile romances, from her four-year relationship with co-star Paul Wesley to the identity of her new husband, Bernard Lagrange, a sophisticated art advisor who has captured her heart. The following is the most current and comprehensive look at the life and loves of Phoebe Tonkin.

Phoebe Tonkin: Full Biography and Profile

Phoebe Jane Elizabeth Tonkin is an Australian actress and model known globally for portraying supernatural characters and her distinct fashion sense. Her career spans over two decades, making her a staple in both Australian and American television.

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• Full Name: Phoebe Jane Elizabeth Tonkin
• Date of Birth: July 12, 1989
• Age (as of December 2025): 36 years old
• Birthplace: Sydney, New South Wales, Australia
• Parents: Nicholas and Jane Tonkin
• Sibling: One younger sister, Abby
• Education: Attended Queenwood School for Girls, Balmoral. She began acting classes at the Australian Theatre for Young People (ATYP) at age 12.
• Notable Roles: Cleo Sertori in H2O: Just Add Water (2006–2010), Faye Chamberlain in The Secret Circle (2011–2012), Hayley Marshall in The Vampire Diaries (2012–2013) and The Originals (2013–2018).
• Accolades: An AACTA Award and a Logie Award nomination.

The Latest Chapter: Marriage to Bernard Lagrange in 2025

The biggest and most recent news in Phoebe Tonkin’s personal life is her reported marriage to art world insider Bernard Lagrange. While the couple has maintained a fiercely private relationship, sources suggest the wedding took place around May 2025, following a low-key engagement announcement.

Who is Bernard Lagrange?

Bernard Lagrange is not a Hollywood actor or musician, but a highly respected figure in the global art scene. This shift to a non-celebrity partner aligns with Tonkin’s recent push for greater privacy.

• Profession: Art Advisor/Director.
• Background: Lagrange is a Princeton-educated art historian.
• Career Highlights: He has held prominent positions in the art world, including working at Sotheby's and currently serving as a director at Gagosian Art Advisory.
• Relationship Timeline: Tonkin and Lagrange were first linked publicly in 2023, though their relationship likely began earlier. The engagement was revealed in a characteristically subtle Instagram post, and the marriage news surfaced in mid-2025.

The actress has expressed a desire to "enjoy" married life, hinting at the challenges of balancing a very public career with a desire for a quiet personal life. This union with an art advisor signals a new, grounded phase for the star, far removed from the intensity of her previous on-set romances.

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Phoebe Tonkin's High-Profile Dating History

Before finding her partner in the art world, Phoebe Tonkin's dating history was closely scrutinized, largely due to her involvement with co-stars from her most famous television projects. Her relationships have consistently been with creative individuals, from fellow actors to musicians.

1. Paul Wesley (2013–2017): The Vampire Diaries Romance

The relationship between Phoebe Tonkin and Paul Wesley is arguably her most famous and long-lasting public romance. The two met while working on the set of The Vampire Diaries, where Wesley starred as Stefan Salvatore and Tonkin had a recurring role as Hayley Marshall.

• Duration: Approximately four years, from 2013 to 2017.
• How They Met: On the set of The Vampire Diaries, which led to a deeper connection when Tonkin moved to the spin-off, The Originals, which was also filmed in Atlanta.
• The Split: The couple separated in 2017. Sources close to them indicated the split was amicable, with the relationship having simply "run its course." They reportedly remained good friends after the breakup.

Their split was a major talking point for fans of the "TVD Universe," as they were one of the franchise's most beloved real-life couples. Despite the separation, both have maintained a respectful and private silence regarding the specifics of their four years together.

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2. Alex Greenwald (2020–2023): The Musician

Following her split from Paul Wesley, Tonkin entered a relationship with American musician and actor Alex Greenwald, the lead singer of the band Phantom Planet.

• Duration: Began around 2020 and reportedly ended by 2023.
• Relationship Milestone: Tonkin made the relationship "Instagram official" in June 2020 by sharing a photo of the two kissing while wearing masks, a nod to the pandemic era.
• Greenwald's Background: Greenwald is also known for being previously engaged to actress Brie Larson.

The relationship was more public than her current one, with the couple occasionally sharing glimpses of their life together on social media. However, like her previous relationship, the split was handled privately, with no public statements regarding the reasons for their separation.

3. Earlier Connections: Actors and Co-Stars

Phoebe Tonkin's professional life has often intertwined with her romantic life, leading to several early-career connections with fellow Australian and American actors:

• Chris Zylka (2013): Tonkin was briefly linked to American actor and model Chris Zylka in 2013, meeting through mutual friends.
• Ed Westwick (2011): The actress reportedly dated Gossip Girl star Ed Westwick in 2011, shortly after her move to the US.
• Xavier Samuel: She was also linked to Australian actor Xavier Samuel, known for roles in Twilight and The Loved Ones, early in her career.

Each relationship, though varying in length and intensity, has been a part of Phoebe Tonkin's journey, culminating in her current, highly stable, and private marriage to Bernard Lagrange. The actress has successfully navigated the challenges of dating in the public eye, ultimately choosing a life partner who offers a connection outside the intense world of Hollywood celebrity.