5 Essential Ways To Say ‘Please’ In Sign Language: Beyond The Basic ASL Sign

Learning the sign for "please" in American Sign Language (ASL) is one of the first and most important steps for any beginner, but the true depth of politeness in Deaf Culture goes far beyond a single hand movement. As of late 2025, the core sign remains consistent, yet its usage is highly nuanced, often depending on the social context, the relationship between signers, and the crucial role of facial expressions and body language—collectively known as Non-Manual Markers (NMMs).

Understanding "please" in ASL is not just about a manual sign; it’s about mastering the linguistic structure of a visual language where grammar and respect are conveyed through the entire body. While the English word "please" is used almost constantly, ASL often omits the manual sign in favor of more sophisticated grammatical structures, making the simple request sign a powerful tool reserved for specific, respectful, or formal situations.

The Anatomy of ‘Please’ in American Sign Language (ASL)

The sign for "please" is universally recognized as one of the fundamental signs in ASL, a key component of basic manners and pleasantries. It is a one-handed sign that is both simple to execute and deeply expressive.

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How to Execute the Basic 'Please' Sign

• Handshape: Use your dominant hand in a flat handshape. Keep your fingers together and extended, similar to the letter 'B' handshape, but with the thumb tucked alongside the palm.
• Location: Place the palm of your dominant hand flat against the center of your chest, typically over the heart or upper chest area.
• Movement: Move your hand in a small, gentle, circular motion on your chest. The movement is soft and repetitive, usually making two or three small circles.
• Meaning: This sign is used exclusively to mean "I request that you do this" or "I am asking you politely." It is a direct translation of the English word "please" when used as a polite request.

It is crucial to note the difference between this request sign and the concept of "it pleases me," which is a distinct semantic entity in ASL. The concept of being pleased or enjoying something is often signed using the ASL sign ENJOY, which involves rubbing the dominant and non-dominant flat hands back and forth on the chest.

The Cultural and Grammatical Nuance: When to Sign 'Please'

One of the biggest mistakes made by new ASL learners is using the sign "please" as frequently as it is used in spoken English. In the Deaf Community, politeness and grammatical structure often make the manual sign redundant or even overly formal. This is where the concept of Non-Manual Markers (NMMs) becomes paramount.

Non-Manual Markers (NMMs): The True Politeness

Non-Manual Markers are the facial expressions, head tilts, eyebrow movements, and body posture that accompany signs to convey grammatical information, tone, and emotion. In ASL, politeness is often baked into the non-manual elements of a request, rather than requiring the manual sign "please."

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• Softened Requests: A gentle head tilt, a slightly raised eyebrow, or a soft, pleading look on the face can instantly transform a neutral request (e.g., "GIVE ME WATER") into a polite one ("Please give me water").
• Grammatical Function: ASL grammar, which often follows a Time-Object-Subject-Verb structure (Topic-Comment), already allows for clear, direct requests. NMMs provide the necessary social lubrication.
• Omission of the Sign: In casual, everyday conversation among friends or family, the manual sign for "please" is frequently omitted entirely. The politeness is conveyed through the NMMs, making the conversation more natural and efficient.

The Hierarchy of Usage: Formal vs. Casual Register

The manual sign for "please" is not obsolete; it is simply reserved for specific, high-register contexts. Knowing when to use it is a clear indicator of respect and cultural fluency.

1. Formal Settings: Use the sign in professional environments, job interviews, or formal presentations where a higher degree of respect or deference is required.
2. Power Differential: It is appropriate to use "please" when making a request to someone in a position of authority, such as a teacher, a boss, or an elder in the community. This signifies a recognition of the hierarchy and a gentle, respectful appeal.
3. Interacting with Strangers: When asking a favor or making a request of someone you do not know well, the sign for "please" is a clear way to demonstrate good manners and a respectful register.
4. Teaching Children: Just as in spoken language, the sign is heavily modeled and encouraged when teaching young children about politeness and good behavior.

The Politeness Lexicon: 5 Other Essential ASL Manners Signs

To achieve true topical authority and fluency in ASL politeness, you must learn the other "magic words" that work alongside "please." These signs are foundational to positive interactions within the Deaf Community.

1. THANK YOU

The sign for "thank you" is another core sign of gratitude. It is performed by taking your dominant flat hand (fingers together) and placing your fingertips near your chin. Move your hand outward and slightly down toward the person you are thanking. This sign is direct and sincere. The non-manual marker for this sign is often a warm, genuine smile.

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2. YOU'RE WELCOME / NO PROBLEM

In ASL, the direct translation of "You're Welcome" (similar to the English phrase) is often avoided. A more natural and common response to "thank you" is to sign IT'S NOTHING or NO PROBLEM. NO PROBLEM is signed by touching your thumb and index finger together (the 'F' handshape) and moving the hand slightly away from the body with a shake of the head (a negative NMM).

3. EXCUSE ME / PARDON ME

This sign is used to get someone's attention, ask to pass by, or interject politely. It is a two-handed sign:

• Place your non-dominant hand flat, palm up.
• Take your dominant hand, bent at the knuckles (like a 'V' or 'H' handshape), and brush the fingertips across the non-dominant palm twice.
• This sign can also be used to mean FORGIVE ME or PARDON ME, depending on the context and NMMs used.

4. SORRY / APOLOGIZE

The sign for "sorry" is a deeply expressive sign that conveys regret or an apology.

• Use the 'A' or 'S' handshape with your dominant hand (a fist).
• Place the hand over your heart or the center of your chest.
• Rub the hand in a circular motion on your chest.

The NMMs are critical here; a sincere apology requires a genuine, remorseful facial expression and a slightly bowed head. This sign can also be used to express REGRET.

5. REQUEST (Formal/Direct)

While "please" is a general plea, the sign for REQUEST is a more formal and specific way to ask for something.

• Use your dominant hand in the 'R' handshape (index and middle fingers crossed).
• Move the hand up and away from your body, as if you are presenting a formal petition.

This sign is often used in a professional or bureaucratic context, showing that you are formally asking for a service or item, rather than just using a general polite word like "please."

Mastering the ASL Politeness Lexicon

The journey to mastering ASL politeness is a rewarding one that moves beyond simply translating English words. It requires an understanding of Deaf Culture, the power of Non-Manual Markers (NMMs), and the subtle differences in grammatical structure compared to Signed Exact English (SEE). By focusing on the correct handshape (Flat Handshape), placement (Chest Placement), and movement (Circular Motion) for "please," and by integrating the other essential signs like THANK YOU and EXCUSE ME, you will demonstrate respect and fluency. Remember, in ASL, your face and body are just as important as your hands in conveying a polite and sincere message.