5 Reasons Why 'Watching Him Die Again And Again' Became The Ultimate Psychological Horror Fanfic

The phrase "Watching Him Die Again and Again" is not just a description of a morbid cycle; it is the title of one of the most popular and psychologically intense fanfictions ever written in the anime community. This specific title refers to a monumental work within the *Re:Zero - Starting Life in Another World* fandom, a story that takes the core trauma of the protagonist, Natsuki Subaru, and forces his closest allies and enemies to experience it firsthand. As of December 2025, the fanfic remains a central topic of discussion, with fans constantly debating its psychological impact and anticipating any potential updates or continuations of the narrative.

The concept, often abbreviated as "WHDAA," flips the script of the original series. Instead of Subaru suffering alone with his secret power, his friends—who are completely unaware of his suffering—are teleported to a mystical 'theatre' where they are compelled to watch a cinematic playback of his entire, brutal journey. This narrative device instantly transforms a fantasy adventure into a raw, unyielding study of trauma, grief, and the true cost of Subaru’s "Return by Death" ability.

The Origin and Context: Natsuki Subaru’s Endless Cycle of Death

The entire premise of "Watching Him Die Again and Again" is built upon the central mechanic of the original *Re:Zero* series: the ability known as Return by Death. This power, granted to the protagonist Natsuki Subaru upon his arrival in a fantasy world, allows him to rewind time to a 'save point' whenever he is killed. The catch? He is the only one who retains the memories of his horrific deaths and the previous timelines.

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The fanfiction, primarily authored by Reactionist across platforms like FanFiction.net and Archive of Our Own (AO3), is the definitive example of a "reaction fic" or, more accurately, a "Theatre of Despair."

• Author: Reactionist
• Primary Fandom: *Re:Zero - Starting Life in Another World*
• Genre: Reaction Fiction, Psychological Drama, Trauma Study
• Core Premise: The main cast is magically transported to a theatre and forced to watch the anime/light novel events, including all of Subaru’s previously unseen deaths.
• Key Entities/Characters Forced to Watch: Emilia, Rem, Ram, Beatrice, Felt, Reinhard van Astrea, Crusch Karsten, Anastasia Hoshin, Priscilla Barielle, Julius Euclius, and even antagonists like the Archbishops of Sin.

This forced viewing is the engine of the story. The characters, who only ever saw Subaru as an eccentric, sometimes foolish boy, are suddenly confronted with the gruesome reality of his suffering. The fanfic’s genius lies in exploring the reactions of each character as they witness their friend and ally being murdered, mutilated, or driven to the brink of insanity, only to 'reset' and pretend everything is fine.

1. The Unbearable Weight of the "Theatre of Despair" Trope

The term Theatre of Despair has become synonymous with this particular style of reaction fanfiction, and WHDAA is its most famous iteration. It’s a trope designed to maximize emotional and psychological tension. The characters are held captive—emotionally and physically—in a viewing space, unable to intervene or comfort the Subaru they know, as they watch the 'Subaru on screen' meet a brutal end.

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This narrative trap serves several crucial functions:

• Forced Empathy: Characters like Emilia and Rem, who often misunderstood Subaru's motives, are forced to see the truth behind his frantic actions and sudden bursts of competence. They realize his seemingly reckless behavior was often a desperate attempt to prevent a known catastrophe.
• Amplified Trauma: The horror is not just the death itself, but the repetition. Watching a loved one die once is tragic; watching him die from being frozen, eaten alive, or having his mind broken, and then seeing the timeline reset only for the cycle to begin again, is a form of psychological torture for the observers.
• The Reveal of the Secret: In the original series, Subaru cannot tell anyone about Return by Death without being instantly killed by the Witch of Envy, Satella. The fanfic bypasses this restriction, allowing the truth to be revealed in the most painful way possible, shattering the carefully constructed emotional barriers between Subaru and his allies.

2. The Psychological Toll on Key Characters

A major reason for the fanfic's enduring popularity is its deep dive into the psychological consequences for the main cast. The story is less about Subaru's trauma (which the audience already knows) and more about the observers' descent into shared despair. This focus on secondary trauma elevates the narrative.

Emilia: Her reaction is one of the most pivotal. Emilia is initially shown to be confused and sometimes frustrated with Subaru. Watching the depths of his sacrifice, the sheer agony he endures for her sake, forces her to confront an overwhelming sense of guilt and love. The fic masterfully uses her perspective to explore the theme of undeserved sacrifice.

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Rem: For a character whose love for Subaru is already absolute, witnessing his deaths confirms her devotion but also introduces a terrifying helplessness. Her reaction chapters often focus on her desperate desire to take the burden from him, highlighting the tragic irony that the one person who truly believes in him cannot save him from his unique curse.

Beatrice: The contracted spirit's reaction is particularly poignant, as she slowly realizes the extent of Subaru's loneliness and the burden he carries. Her development from a detached spirit to a fiercely protective figure is accelerated and deepened by seeing the countless times he died alone.

Reinhard van Astrea: Known as the 'Sword Saint' and the world’s strongest character, his inability to save Subaru from the past events he is watching is a profound source of distress. It highlights the theme that some problems—specifically psychological trauma and a curse like Return by Death—cannot be solved with brute force or legendary power.

3. Topical Authority and the Expansion of the *Re:Zero* Lore

The fanfic doesn't just rehash the story; it uses the reaction format to explore and expand upon the core themes and lore of the *Re:Zero* universe, giving it significant topical authority within the fandom. The author, Reactionist, cleverly uses the characters' discussions to fill in lore gaps and speculate on future events, a feature that fans crave.

• The Witch of Envy (Satella) & Return by Death: The viewing sessions naturally lead to intense speculation about the nature of the curse, the identity of the Witch, and the true purpose of the power. The characters, having seen the evidence, are forced to develop their own theories, which often mirror the real-world fandom’s debates.
• The Archbishops of Sin: Watching the atrocities committed by the Witch Cult and its leaders, like Petelgeuse Romanee-Conti, is made even more impactful when the observers know their friend died at their hands multiple times. This solidifies the villains' status and justifies the protagonists' future actions.
• The Value of Life and Memory: The fanfic is a powerful meditation on what constitutes a life. When Subaru dies, his life is erased, but his memory—and now the memories of his friends—remain. The narrative asks: Is the life that was erased still valuable? The answer is a resounding yes, making the characters' grief over the 'lost' versions of Subaru incredibly powerful.

4. The Impact on Fan Culture and Current Status

The sheer success of "Watching Him Die Again and Again" has cemented its place as a cornerstone of modern anime fanfiction. It has inspired countless other reaction fics across various fandoms, attempting to replicate the emotional intensity of the Theatre of Despair concept.

However, the current status of the fanfic is a point of ongoing discussion. While the story is vast and covers a significant portion of the *Re:Zero* narrative, many fans note that the updates have become sporadic over the past couple of years, and the story currently concludes around the start of Season 2 of the anime.

The community is constantly discussing:

• Whether the author will return to complete the arc for Season 2 and beyond.
• Which other fan-created stories or continuations (often referred to as 'WHDAA sequels' or 'Theatre of Despair' spin-offs) best capture the original's tone.
• The psychological impact of the story on the readers themselves, who, like the characters, are forced to consume the trauma in a concentrated format.

This ongoing anticipation and the search for a continuation keep the keyword "watching him die again and again" fresh and relevant in online discussions, proving its lasting cultural impact.